Friday, 15 July 2016


The bed eat when I want to get up and I can not, I run out of forces, it is impossible and see what I want but I can not lift.
If it were not for my mother who is raising me, I'd be all day inside. In the afternoon after lunch I want to sleep because I can no more by my illness and that I get worse, but I can not help it, I'm going to bed. Yesterday I put myself mourn and went to bed, I have to change the chip and go more because what frightens me is the street '' What nonsense !!!!! with so nice sun does.
I know I have to accept, especially for my son, I have to fight hard for it. Many times I have really wanted to live and not get into a bed because I'm losing my life, but others bed eat me.
A if I'm going to leave the bed and live, think me some good walks around the village. I have to accept that the bed is for night and for the day.


Thursday, 7 July 2016


I come from the relaxation session and I'm more than willing to write this article. A day of my life, the life of any person, may seem a short time, but it is not. If compartimentamos day in hours, minutes and seconds the time becomes longer and you can get more fruit. One day is long because the clock can be extended to an infinite relative and squeeze the juice to the maximum.
Compartmentalized time we feel that we have much more to live and to affirm with Roberto Benigni and Nicoletta Braschi that life is beautiful and it is because time is a wonderful place to live treasure. Time is life itself, time is a state of mind. No present or past or future. Times are states of the soul and not to differentiate at all.

We must always look to the present, which is the most immediate state of soul that exists. In reality we live in is an eternal present. Not to allow time shop us up and we delude ourselves into thinking that everything is always lived better than what we live in the present. And it is not like that. The present time gives us the feeling that we are more alive than ever and we have the absolute truth of all: that we are beings for present glory of our stock.
At the beginning of the day it is when I'm worse with anxiety and obsessive compulsive disorder, which are closely related. physically and mentally review everything in the house and all the things I have to do during the day or did the day before. It is an experience that causes me great suffering and that makes me feel the most miserable person in the world. In fact, I came to think that no one is worse than me. It is a spiritual and physical suffering that leaves me alone. Lasts two hours or more. Then, throughout the day, also review from time to time, but less the same things. 
This obsession will not let me live. I feel totally dependent on it and do not know how to overcome it. Sometimes I sense a glimmer of hope that makes me feel happy even have the disorder, but does not last long. It is a perishable happiness but worth being experienced because every little happiness is great. Here you can also say that life is beautiful because one has the will to be able to overcome adversity and move forward with the necessary to avoid falling into sinkholes even bigger force.
During the day I try to bring hope where there is none, for I find wrong. That hope sometimes only lasts a few minutes, but when I feel really comes and I consider myself a happy person, as opposed to the unfortunate person that I am when I am a victim of obsessive compulsive disorder. I am happy with the smallest things. I do not need big things to be happy. I just so tiny, seemingly inconsequential. But just fragmenting the time as said earlier article and then feel a moment of happiness has a huge wealth that multiplies to infinity if only lasts a small tract of time.
At night I usually watch TV, preferably sports programs or movies. I love movies and that helps me fill my articles after cinematic references. Cinema is a great source of education. Filmmaking is life. You always have to say as the song: more movies please. I have no preference for a specific genre. If the film is good gender is me indifferent.
At the end of the day I usually do a reflection in bed all that I have lived and happened to me. It's a quick reflection, just twenty minutes to see what I've done wrong and how I can improve the next day. I return to dialogue with God, but without praying, a direct conversation as in my book Grito. This dialogue helps me to ask the rest end, comfort and sleep and I usually fall asleep soon.
This is pretty much my day. I consider it quite rich but I am very demanding of myself and always want more, but less than all bad as my disorder. I hope this article will bring us further in this open dialogue we have since two years or so ago. Continue our relationship is what I want. And let there not fail us, as I say, hope.

Jose Cuadrado Morales

Monday, 4 July 2016


My life after the disease has been slowly squeezing my desire to make new things.

I have been slowly evolving but not in a good way. but I feel accompanied by the people around me, yet I feel alone on the problems that happen to me every day. It is a contradiction to live together but only once, eat this feeling inside me and not let me evolve as I wanted.
Many weekends I go out with my parents but I feel constant loneliness. I think this feeling has greatly influenced the fact of divorce and to see my son only on alternate weekends, days between these visits are eternal me. That little time I spend with him, squeeze as much as possible, but when it will invade me a deep sense of loneliness.
I love my life banish that feeling, but it seems impossible at the moment, overwhelms me, consumes me, makes me have negative thoughts and especially immobilizes me.
It is a feeling that can not be shared because people I have on my side do not understand that you can be with them and feel alone at a time.
I have a feeling that if I do not find this a couple next to me in those deeper feelings and understand, do not think you can eliminate.
I feel sometimes that can be thankless, because there are people who have no one and loneliness is forced, without possibility to change their situation.

On the other hand the help of professionals who are funneled I go in sickness and like trying to cure her, not engaged in the thought that comes over me and I can not deal with pills, therapy etc. ...

The few friends that I keep, it is very difficult for me to meet with them and not understand anything, and are within their lives with their homework.
Within this world around me, my life goes very monotone.
Every week look alike to me, without a new incentive in my life, the only lifeline is my son and hours I can be with him.
As I finish throwing a muffled cry about my situation and the desire to change this.
Traductor de Google para empresas:Google Translator ToolkitTraductor de sitios webGlobal Market Finder
Información del Traductor de GoogleComunidadMóvilAcerca de GooglePrivacidad y condicionesAyudaDanos tu opinión


Wednesday, 29 June 2016


Rare is the media (be it magazine, newspapers, teletext of different television channels, etc ...) that does not have a section of contacts or relationships between people. You know: men seeking women, women seeking men, men seeking men, women seeking women, friendship, other relationships, etc ... Many of you have ever resorted to this section to widen the circle of friends. I have done answering ads or putting my own.
I remember in 1990 I put an ad in the ABC de Sevilla Journal and the company that managed the ads published in many other ways, including one of Granada, which allowed me to meet Leocadio, who after years became my best friend. And still is. He just turned 49, specifically on 4 February. Every year we welcome birthday. I him on 4 February and he to me on August 26. Certainly the next August will fulfill 56 years, so I'm almost four years older than my friend Leocadio.
Tune from the first moment thanks among other things to the affinity we had with mental illness. Those who often read me know my sufferings, among whom I stress disorder, generalized anxiety disorder and obsessive compulsive disorder. Leocadio suffers from paranoid schizophrenia. I do not know which is worse. I know he really tried to commit suicide, not mock, and I do not. And he must submit from time to time and I have only entered once I coinciding with the death of my mother and the breakup of a relationship with a woman. My friend has a hard time with income, but it will check to perform all therapies that apply.
He lives in Lugros, a small town in the mountains of Granada, occasionally going to Granada to see the psychiatrist and psychologist, allowing you to interact with others, but that relationship is ephemeral and lasts a few hours. We hit it off from the beginning great. We wrote long letters with all the sincerity in the world where we told all things. And always we were sending one christmas Christmas to congratulate the holidays. Over time we have left to write and use over the phone.
He was married to a woman who knew her illness when they went to bed. But he soon left with a small daughter, Mari Carmen. Leocadio saw his daughter half of the holidays and every fortnight on weekends. He wanted and loves her daughter, who is now a woman. What hurts is the attitude that now has his daughter with him, absolute coldness because he will never see his father living in such a small town and never calls and when seen every fortnight for tapas and chat never asks how it is, that is the question most expected him to see how his daughter is interested in him and gives him a little affection. But his daughter follows the guidelines of his mother, who does not want to be spreading the disease from her ex-husband, like a contagious disease. It is again the stigma of mental illness, which spans many branches of human relationships.
Nor he receives the affection that he wanted his mother, a village woman, closed, brutota, 83, who gives loving mother, but no understanding for the disease because it does not understand and overcome. Often discussed and he calls me to tell me. I listen with all the love in the world because we are really friends and I love him very much. I want to highlight in this article the importance of friendship for the mentally ill so they do not feel alone and stuck only his ailing world.
Also he has problems with his two brothers. With the largest I had a shock when her mother was admitted in the hospital in Granada and his older brother as he charged meals if your home was entitled to a pension food. Leocadio has a small non-contributory pension.
He calls daily to his brothers, but neither ever ask him how he is. They have frankly marginalized and feels very alone and no longer knows how to make his brothers throw accounts.
My friend is a little sybaritic of snuff. Every day after lunch going to a cafe for coffee and then a cigar smoking a certain brand, not another. I send every year a cigar box that mark for his birthday. This year I've done it again. I also shipping as a second birthday on April or May I usually book published annually. This year will be Rosa of life, a poem lake river divided into 90 parts which deal with four themes: life, love, death and obsession, all under the influence of Schopenhauer. He is an avid reader because their vision problems can not watch TV, but you can read. And devours everything he can. Theirs is the writing that painting, but also writes occasionally. He learned to paint in the Ura Guadix. Since that time it does not stop. But not sell his paintings. I always tell her that you will follow the path of Vincent Van Gogh, who sold one painting in his lifetime and after his heirs have had enough of making money. I do not want that to happen to him the same. I think that's self-esteem must sell their pictures and get money to live better.
Regarding the attitude of his daughter to him sometimes too desperate and sometimes tells me he regrets being father. I say that teenagers are well and I know well what I say because I have a son who is already a man and treats me coldly. But he despairs soon.
In the village you point out, as they did with Juan Ramón Jiménez in Moguer, when he was riding his Platero and pointed with calling him crazy finger when he was was depressed by the untimely death of his father, which cost entry into a sanatorium. But Lugros is a very small town and everyone knows their constant internments and problems of paranoid schizophrenia.
I understand the need for affection Leocadio. His immense solitude. We will never see us because he can not travel for their illness and I am afraid to go to new places. I wish him the best Leocadio. And I wish the best to all readers who put ads in daily or teletext. They find true friends and happier and mitigate their loneliness in the best way possible. Health and luck.

Jose Cuadrado  Morales.

Friday, 24 June 2016


Ideals experiments help us to reason and draw conclusions about a subject. In the experiment known as "The Cat Schorödinguer" the following problem: in a closed room there is a cat and a bowl of poison that can be opened or remain closed; to see if the cat at a given moment is alive or dead have to open the door to the room and check. By observing we determine whether the cat is alive or dead. The reality seems to exist while observing, but what happens while we are not watching ?. In those moments, the cat is alive or dead ?. Physics tells us that in these circumstances the cat is alive or dead, but in an intermediate state, a mixture of the two.
In this intermediate state we seem to be sick when loneliness comes not desired. That solitude in which we do not seem to be alive or be dead, but in an indeterminate latency. I have suffered for years, living alone with my parents and out into the street alone to work. During that time largely we lose parts of the emotions that must be present in the lives of everyone, such as fraternity and friendship.
Solitude imposed from outside is not good.
That said this is not true: sometimes we are not guilty of this solitude and others if, although it is good to think that we ourselves intervene where this is on and we should not excuse in circumstances or others, although some of this also has . That's why centers like the Unit of Mental Health Rehabilitation Hospital Virgen Macarena help us both to move forward and find spaces for meeting with other people who become very especially needed to carry the disease on, specialists and friends. And it is that being alone in a crowd can end up in an outbreak. (It is also true that after one of them, they seem asleep these emotions, we recovering gradually as we rehabilitated). So all these relationships we heal us in this regard.
To be happy is not necessary to do everything well, but with love.
I do not need everyone treats me well all the time
The world has never worked perfectly, but despite that people have gotten to enjoy life and we can do it.


Wednesday, 22 June 2016


There is a place lost
where the darkness.
There is a place awake
where you are if more.
But you always want your place
among different sites.
You say you have a name
Who's that shadow that never
you leave?



Wednesday, 15 June 2016

AFFECTION ... Vitamin for the soul

Some more, some less, we all need to feel affection samples appreciated: a kiss on the cheek, a sense I love you, a wink of an eye, a compliment, a phone call, a pat on the shoulder. Any words or kind gesture by others to us is a real gift for self-esteem.
The sincere affection involves a heavy dose of empathy that is know to take the place of the other. It is good to receive a caress but so is giving it to those around us.
Often difficult to admit that we feel alone and we would ask dear, if only a little Sometimes we pour part of that existential angst in a hobby or stroking our pets. But it is clear that prior to this exchange of feelings must look good to the recipient for the connection is successful.
Nothing would a false friend, ironically a compliment or a mechanical gesture of affection. Look people in the eye is a good start, and listen to the other is also showing interest. It is easy to say but much of the misunderstandings lie in not listening to our fellowmen or not properly express our emotional needs.
Time will do its part, as it will allow us to get to know the other person, to know what interests you, what points we have in common, what show of affection would be appropriate. Affection is a fundamental ingredient of living as it helps build friendships or simply makes the routine more bearable when we stumbled upon a smile or a pat on the shoulder. Do not be ashamed of being demonstrative with whom we appreciate, do not you think?


Monday, 13 June 2016


 There was no word in heaven or on earth, the sea or the sky. There was only silence. Then came the voices in my mind, which I had to fight with pharmacological and psychotherapeutic treatment. Patiently, without despair because he knew what was at stake my own life and could hurt my family with something crazy, like I already happened in the past with some intakes of pills or reduce medication prescribed by psychiatrists on my own . Now I realize that mistakes make you mature and do not take lightly think it is convenient when you are with various mental disorders, including depression. It is better to go step by step and feel that there is hope in our deepest solitude. Life takes many turns and sometimes dreams come true, making our lives have any meaning, because you are sometimes truncated by factors that have befallen us and make us remember painful moments and suffer.
Now after the new adjustment of treatment I feel better and is not being quiet day after day thinking there was no solution. Thank God today have many advances in medicine.
On the other hand I have been good sport, I've been doing regularly a little every day. The times I also read though sometimes distracted and not concentrating me, took my imagination to think about the characters and the relationships established between them also. Sometimes if I liked the story I spent several hours reading. Moreover, watch movies occasional afternoon or movies at home and then discuss them with my father or remember some things have made me enjoy this free leisure time. Well I think there are many opportunities to perform in company or alone. Only sometimes we do not want to change because of fears that costs us to see other perspectives, leading us not get things we want and frustrated.

Jesus R.

Friday, 10 June 2016


Happiness is one of the most variable and relative human things. Would you ask who you ask each answer something different. Some people are happy with the smallest and most insignificant. However others will be happy only with the greatest, with the greatest treasures and possessions. There is no fixed rule about happiness. Everyone can talk about himself what he wants. So now I will talk about me.
I am very happy with a simple package of almonds blue sitting in my easy chair watching a good football match, a good movie, a good cultural program or a good documentary on TV. That is to seek happiness. Happiness can come alone, but usually have to trabajársela. And I'm happy with these small, seemingly banal things but leave me satisfied. For example these days I've been waiting for televise the first game of the season Sevilla FC. It was with Slovan Liberec of the Czech Republic for the third round of the UEFA Europa League. It was a draw, but Sevilla still first in his group. With that I felt happy with it several days and prove that great things are not required to be and feel happy.
I am also happy to be with my son because he know I've done well despite being a divorced father. The mother has also done its job well. My son is going for 24 years and is a physical and mentally balanced guy who is doing the sixth year of his two races, Administration and Management and Law. He has a girlfriend and things very clear. And it's a happy kid and I'm glad everything contributed to their happiness.
I am happy in the morning when I wake up and I feel great anxiety and depressed, and then I ask God to give me strength and help me to move forward. And I notice that force that is internalized and gives me energy to pull forward all day. I find it hard work for my disease. Obsessive compulsive disorder does not leave me alone and I'm always fighting with him, though occasionally achieving a balance and I feel happy. That happiness is at times. It is said that only madmen and fools are happy all the time. I do not know. I just know I'm happy at times.
And I feel happy when I'm traveling, such as Madrid. I went this past summer but I got sick with a virus and had to return to the fourth day. Next year will complete the journey. For Christmas my social worker advised me to travel out that for next summer's still a long. I'll Arcos de la Frontera, people that I love where I find peace and feel happy. And it is very close to Sevilla so I feel better.
Wednesday I'm happy when I go to the cinema to watch a movie then criticize for blog Ura Macarena. I'm all week preparing the film I'll see to get as much information as possible, I will do all my review.
The popular song says that there are three things in life: health, money and love, and you have these three things to give thanks to God. A God will give thanks whoever believes in him as in my case. I pray and give me strength to go on all day. Health is fundamental, is the basis of everything. Without health everything else it does not matter. We must learn to be patient and to overcome the disease. And we must always think there are worse things. For example, several years ago I had an operation on a stone in the right ureter. My mother accompanied me one day and said urologist bad luck he had had his son,. The doctor said that bad luck is having a heart attack or cancer. You always have to think of those who are worse than you. Maybe it's that bad for many consolation of fools, but it's true. It also serves here that of which the glass half full or half empty. I always try to see it half full to feel at least a little happiness even in the most difficult circumstances.
Money is very important also to feel happy. We are in times of crisis. There are eight million poor people in Spain who eat even directly from dumpsters that are thrown to them about eight tons of food a year. As contradiction CaixaBank has grown 164%. There are over six million unemployed and about 100,000 families have all their members unemployed and the unemployment benefit exhausted. They live on charity. Andalusia is still not out of recession although its economy has improved somewhat. And Spain pulls forward in fits and starts. It's very hard being without money even for basics like eating.
And love. Not only love partner, but all the love we receive and give. I receive much love from my fellow Ura Macarena and professionals working in it. They are more than just professional. And as for the love pair right now I'm burnt. I've had three great loves in my life and many crushes and casual encounters. But the last relationship left me burned and now prefer to be alone, but do not rule out anything in the future. In fact, in my book I talk a lot of love. In my next book, Rosa life, I make a hymn to love and to life with all my strength. Because I still believe in love.
In an announcement the other day I heard this phrase about: If you do not know what you do in the next life, take this. That will greatly happiness to enjoy life as much as possible, take the time with all its relativity to enjoy and feel good about yourself. To me the disease causes me a lot of suffering, but does not prevent me from enjoying my moments of happiness. I try to enjoy life as much as possible for God to feel satisfied me and I too am at peace with myself.
In another announcement I heard that life is for living. It's the same or like singing a song for years that it became fashionable: Life is for living. That is also about happiness: to live life with all our strength and good and bad moments as they arise because there is time for everything.
I remember now the song of Amaral: I want to live, I want to feel the universe about me. I also want to live, I want to feel that universe within my soul and feel my friend and my reason for being. The universe is nothing compared to the value of a single human life. We have to have a balance with all elements of nature. We are part of it and drives a main matrix that is happiness. This is to be found, it must be trabajársela a lot because not all happiness comes alone to give us personal satisfaction. To win the lottery you have to buy a tenth. Same thing for you to win the lottery of happiness: invest time, forces, energies that happiness is within us as long as possible.
I seek happiness daily. It's what Bertrand Russell said in his book The Conquest of Happiness. You have to fight hard to get but you can get full. What happens is that you have to work hard for that happiness is within us and conquer everyday life and achieve the right to live. The conquest of happiness is a daily and constant work that allows us to make sense of our existence and everything we are as human beings.
I invite to you to fight for happiness, even in very small doses. But those small doses together form a large piece of happiness. Do not lose patience and see you all have reasons for that, to a greater or lesser extent. As the United States Constitution says the man has the right to pursuit of happiness. It's almost poetry in the American Constitution. For this right we can not take anything or anyone. We must seek happiness as with all our strength.
Go in search of happiness and she will be safe in our way. Those who believe in God go ahead. And those who disbelieve go ahead too. I do believe and God is my main source of energy. He gives meaning to my life and helps me greatly to search the Nobel Prize saying that I mentioned earlier. It's just a matter of patience and feel grateful for all the things that gives us life to take it. Look at it carefully and see how many things you save for us. Enjoy life. Health and luck.

Jose Cuadrado Morales

Wednesday, 8 June 2016


Why do I exist?
What is my mission in this world?
What is my role?
What I paint in this world?
-Who loves me?
'Who care?
-You want to do? Be happy.
No me know my task restless.
-What would you like to do? Enjoy.
-Would You like to die? do not! But I get bored in this world.
God want me to release you from this burden? No! God expects me to live fully without unnecessary harm to others, because life is a gift from God that can not be rejected.
-For When you know what my mission. And I will be too old and I have to leave bound by age.
What do you expect from this life?
-What would you like to do?
-Who I am?
-What would you like? I wish we were brothers, and that there were so cruelly focused on living things: people, animals and plants ...
When I get up after sleeping much I am "amamonado".
-You are happy? I get bored, I want to have fun without doing harm.
Why as much, perhaps I need?
'What can I do to do my best to improve my life?
-What would you like to do? respect!
- Everything has to be in the Lord's vineyard.
- It's the game of life. How far are you willing to walk it with quality of life? That is in your life!
As you think and what you think is important, and affects their quality of life.
I feel fine, I'm a champion and I will live life.
Why me punishment, perhaps I have no right to live with dignity?
-Start By yourself approve you.
Every action has consequences, action-reaction.
Every person has to play his cards, and if you have a bad hand, move, fight.
There must accept life as it comes.
'I approve because one is worth it.
I am a humane and tolerant person.
God gives you as think, if you think negative you God provides negative and positive if God equips you think positive.
-You want to do? respect! Why? Because my head and I think of all my negative thoughts discard.
Come in time and I do nothing.
What are you willing to do in this life? ... Hey, it's you!

No one cares and obsesses me a lot also have quality of life and make my mark in history, genetic and artistic.
What worries you, because you can not sleep? I worry about my future.
When sleep is I get bored.
Do not talk to me or treat me wrong, I'm sensitive and I get depressed.
What am I doing here in this world, perhaps I punished ?; No. Then you live!
When you play bad cards you have to keep playing and have resigned and then have to live in the present, not the past or the future, or what is the same, play the next hand And listen!
I want to be awake because I want to live in the moment.
-I want to improve.
He wants his neighbor because he loves you, and what happens is that he does not know.
You know dance, you have good poses? Your body language says a lot about you. Hunchback or right when you walk, when you brush your teeth, when the plates rub. Dancing legs and feet, dancing the balance of the spine ...

Antonio Tequila.

Tuesday, 7 June 2016


On every occasion that I intend to write, fear appears: not find the right words, it is unclear message to the reason of the size chosen not to scrawl even one page. Fear of paper, as if the mind is involved.
I started writing almost out of obligation. Small charge me answer my mother's letters uncles and cousins ​​with the excuse "I have no time" or a plea: "Rosita not know what to put them, you write better." Thus, as in a game, I was fond to paper and pencil. I also started reading romance novels of Corin Tellado, comics, thrillers, magazines, etc. These readings that certainly helped my love of writing.
There is always something worthy of capturing on the computer: a review of a movie or "station" that struck us, the exit with friends for coffee, the passing tantrums with our brothers, the job search is uphill in times of crisis, the re-reading of our favorite book, etc. The daily experiences are also a source of inspiration as it happens to me with memories, pets or live in the countryside. Nothing better than some knowledge of the subject matter, whether sad or happy, for thoughts to surface spontaneously. Who does not remember the rhymes of Becquer "dark swallows will return" ... or letters of Serrat as "do not do anything but think of you"? . What seems easier it can become true poetry if we let our imagination play freely.
It's amazing how much the writing process is enjoyed. Personally, I find it easier to verbally express written perhaps as a matter of shyness, introverted character. The case against the paper is that a swirl of ideas occurs like you want to reflect all your experiences in a row. Then they go mentally selecting the words that go best with our mood and slowly, the spaces are filled with the letters of the alphabet. Even if we never be satisfied with what is written entirely removes us who danced?!.
Writing is a hobby but also a necessity. It's a hobby that moves us to fill the downtime, while the need to get in touch with other people. Once a written idea leaves belong to us because we share it with casual readers and is very pleasant to hear the comments of those friends, though not match 100% with us.


Wednesday, 1 June 2016


"That all life is a dream and dreams are dreams". So said Calderon de la Barca in the monologue Sigismund of life is a dream, we might consider a history of psychoanalysis of Sigmund Freud.

 In the monologue obrase clearly speaks of conscious and unconscious dreams dreams. The former have when we are awake. The others do not control and pass the time asleep during sleep. When we are awake we can dream what we want or we can according to our intellectual abilities and our personal ambition. We could put the example of television programs where each contestant is asked what he would do with the prize of the contest. all sorts of things are heard: travel, pay off the house, help the people closest, etc ...

In the dream consciously we aspire to everything, but the reality is responsible for turning our dreams into something tangible. Much depends on the personal will of each, the effort that is put in the effort. I, for example, had dreams of being a writer. I had to lose many things, give up as many to be, today and took eleven books published.
 I had to implement numerous ideas to be conscious writer, put as much effort in my dreams appeared unconscious images of my capacity as a writer of much desire he had to be.
Unconscious dreams are not governed by our will, but can clearly influence what we are thinking just before sleep or obsessions we have throughout the day or the events live during it.
The subconscious is a storehouse of reasons to dream. We can dream we are flying and that reflect our fear of flying, our panic to fly and see that we can. The subconscious to the conscious helps to live, to overcome old problems. We are birds that move elegantly through the air without any fear of falling.

The subconscious is always about a volcano eruption. We dream that we are in a cemetery looking at the grave of our parents and we feel guilty because life did not give them the love we should give them. The subconscious takes us to the cemetery, to the fictional death in the dream world to repent of the bad things we've done in life. And although we have feelings of guilt finally we feel relief because we can rectify belatedly personal conflicts we had with our parents. The subconscious helps us. It's above us because it is out of our control, but the benefits are very clear.

Sigmund Freud helped his patients through the interpretation of the dream world. They came to your inquiry full of pain and out relieved that someone had given her interpretation to your dreams. These often beyond our understanding and we feel desolate, abandoned by fate itself, left hand of God. This one is often uses as pseudointérprete of dreams through the path of faith or simply through the path of impotence. God can not interpret our dreams. We can believe, dream of God, think and to feel that God relieves us, but he can not interpret our dreams.
The subconscious can be dissected by a good psychologist, either with direct treatment with patients or through writing books that talk about the subject of dreams. There is much written about dreams and their interpretation literature. And with practice we can become the best interpreters of our own dreams. To do this we have to know well our conscious and have a great emotional balance not to get carried away by the dream world and all the weight that occupies in our lives.
As an example of conscious dream we can put the famous phrase that begins the no less famous speech of Martin Luther King: "I have a dream". I have a dream, the dream of seamless integration between blacks and whites. He had no unconscious dream about it. He felt the need for such integration and for that invented what unconscious dream to make clearer picture of their purposes. Unfortunately he was killed and his dream vanished. Not dependent on his will, but he fought with all his strength to give my life for that dream.
Freud talked about the differences and similarities between the subconscious, the unconscious and the conscious. The subconscious is the part where dreams more clearly hidden. The unconscious lulls dreams, as if they were traumatized. It is the most painful part of dreams, where outcropping the toughest dreams like a bridge between reality and subconsciousness. And the conscious, which is the waking state, we live in a way that affects the unconscious and the subconscious. But this reality is not one-way, but two, as all true communication.
Living is hard, dreams can help us live or feel more miserable. Daydreaming is one of the most used expressions in real life. We all do. We all aspire to something we do not have. Often unconscious dreams make us a lot of damage and we woke up suffocated, afflicted with anxiety and distress. They are beyond our control. But paradoxically also conscious dreams are out of reach of our will because the eternal conflict between reality and desire, between reality and dream arises. Dreaming is easy. Living the dream come true is much more difficult. But we all have the right to dream. Sleep is free. And the unreal dreams are free in themselves. They live for them although we give many hints of attention and we indicate alarms about our real life.

Perhaps all life is a dream, but it sure as dreams are dreams Calderon said. But I do not agree that everything is dream. I think that free will greatly influences our lives. Live and dream, that could be our motto, but here fit all possible interpretations and conclusions, if we consider that each person is a dream in itself.

I have not written this article. I have dreamed of and has only gone to paper or computer. It has been a dream come true that has passed through my hands up white sheets. My whole life is a dream, but I woke up to read it. And I like. I hope you do too.

Jose Cuadrado Morales

Friday, 27 May 2016


It is a strange being, just talking, going through your hand and feel as if a ghost were crossing in front of you. Just talk to the kiosquero to ask the newspaper. Just talk to the waiter to ask for coffee. If for some reason have to wait more than necessary at the kiosk or in the bar, he gets nervous and starts looking around uncertainly. Because in fact what is fleeing from contact with others. Only you found safe in his ivory tower. Covered by the books that accompany so many hours. And he prefers to be accompanied by books because much disbelieve in people does. Disappointments of life have become reclusive and misogynist. Love one day he had in his honey but now has left a bitter taste bitter orange that runs through the stomach every time you remember it.
So writes poetry. So he is a poet. Because of the experience of life and you have doses of pain to write about. And it is not that poetry has to be painful to be understandable. But gone are those first poems in referring to the beloved, those first poems were a hymn to the joy of living. It was the life that will fit most precious. And now everything is already secondary. For that to love someone if we know of it we have to separate! Why write if you believe that life is so fragile? Because it's what helps you endure.
 For it is in these verses that will be lost in a drawer where the feeling becomes immortal. Because in essence it is bold. Although his black and pale figure is closer to thinking that the crossing with him we came across a dead, he is bold. And with every verse that starts a girón writes skin to life. And every word is constructed hammer and chisel. And so will the poet for ever and ever, by the verses of the poems, by the words of the verse. Fragile, like a ghost, it freezes your skin to bump into him. The mirror reflection is warm and subtle. It seems that the breath of life out of his hands between breaths sighing to the sky. The poet much I miss eat in this world by roaming his face does. It belongs more to the realm of darkness, a spectrum, the appearance of a shadow. The poet has no pulse. Rivers running through his veins wilted sand clocks. In walking through this world which leads Atlantean tiles. So the poet walks slowly. Slow. And when you say goodbye to this world, we all have to carry on our backs a little bit of the essence of the poet.

Pedro Sanchez

Monday, 23 May 2016


fear content
unexpressed fear
I fear swallowed
and undigested
Sometimes paralyzing fear
Fear of the unknown
and their laughter and smiles
Fear of neighbors
Afraid to use mobile
Fear Internet
and social networks
Afraid to ring the mobile
and receiving bad news
I fear the washer
and burst
I fear to manipulate the carboy
and exploits
Fear of cooking
and cause fire
Afraid to eat
and intoxicated
Fear of construction and renovation
We started one at home now
Fear of rain
and wind
and the sun
I fear replenish paper
Printer URA


What then will tell, it is the memory of the "form" which was entered last; of the times I've been, this is what has impressed me by his forcefulness and unnecessary, useless and gratuitous cruelty.
Go ahead not keep trace of rancor or revenge any, just that I like that the actions of the health and police authorities were more measured, more "soft" without disproportionate force and with some discretion, if it can be .
The particular history of this income began on a Saturday before Easter, when when I was at the Plaza of my people sitting on a bench, accompanied by my brother and my sister, arrived and do not know in what order, sanitary equipment, two local policemen and two civilian guards; after talking platitudes, as if you know me, if you know who I am, I suddenly fell between four and taken handcuffed from behind, to the ambulance, which was introduced on the upside down table and the alert on. Once at the hospital I was introduced, I do not know where, to a psych ward ....... Highlights were the two pri following mere nights, which did not sleep tied the hands and feet first and second, hands feet and armpits, resulting in pain and burden understandable.
The next morning, and seeing the big picture, say I to ask "own initiative" forgiveness for my "sins" and that here nothing has happened, and most importantly, I got me were removed the straps of my bed, flowing from here everything and normally on because he did not understand how having two smoking rooms were not suitable for this purpose, prevailing over the rule or the bureaucracy that need or palliative therapy consisting stop smoking people admitted without consent, against his will, with much "downtime" and smokers ...
In this sense, and taking advantage, I wonder if rural residences in the highlands, where those affected can let off steam, cut wood, clean the forest, looking after animals or bathing whitewater or calm waters, which will clear the mind or the minds of Mentally ill.
Well, the end is that what they told me was that I had lack of sleep.

Diego de la Algaba

Monday, 16 May 2016


I've had a hard life, my parents separated when I was five years, after my mother and father were sought other couples. Neither my brother nor I were deacuerdo. After courtships because of our parents I had to go to Germany and my brother stayed in Seville. Finally I was rulando by Germany and Spain until I was 18. Alos 18 years I went to nursing school and met a guy who was my boyfriend. I was heartbroken abuse me, I was unfaithful, What a mess! Let studies, and came to Spain as a loser, to my mother to help me. I found the opposite. I started having a lot of trouble and did things not yet forgive me. I took a depression that lasted me 8 years after I was diagnosed with schizophrenia I no longer know what to do. I got into the drug, taking everything (cocaine, hashish, pills, LSD, hallucinogenic mushrooms marijuana, heroin, alcohol and snuff.) And because taking it so often did not distinguish reality from fantasy, I was wrong were people who wanted me help but I just wanted to do what I please come. She was tired of enduring, sick of me should tell what I had to do and I was forced to do so. Anyway, I hit rock bottom when he was 36 years and 15 of them dedicating myself.
Be aware that I had to take care of myself, I stopped eating, everything but the snuff, left to coffee and fizzy things, bad eating habits and started to play sports. Now that I have 38 years I've been watching my two years I am a little happier, which I neither thought possible, and I path to happiness.
What I have learned is that life is full of surprises, who would have told me that I was after all what had happened he would know happiness ?. Life is very hard but very nice, worth living is learning a lot of things and when you least expect can be happy. I wish you luck.



Mental illness is a great unknown, and what is known of it is biased information. Most of the time "flees" ignorance and other times for fear of the unknown and what "social" is known about mental illness. We are all responsible in this topic, but I have to tell you that today, we are in a world full of "individualism" and for all is difficult to make friends really. Friends in every sense of the word. Friends who accompany you always and can understand at all times. And it's hard to find with and without mental illness. But fact is that people with mental illness have it more complicated. Today we are witnessing a lack of understanding by the other in so many ways that each little step becomes complicated. Having a mental illness is a "handicap" but I must also say that we must fight for it. I always say that nobody told us how difficult life in general. Today, more than ever, have a friend who has a treasure; Besides, I think almost everyone s, can count on the fingers of one hand.

Friday, 13 May 2016


Imagine you were naked in a big city in winter people would look at you strangely and you would face. That is the stigma that makes us vulnerable because the disease is not in a straight line if not bumpy; sometimes we speak alone, as with a friend who does not know who he is. One day I walked into the psychiatrist and asked, Is it wrong to have an invisible friend ?, told me not to. I am aware that there but never stop talking so instead of getting depressed I consider my friend charlatan who sometimes makes me pranks. My job every day is to silence him, tell him to go and although I try sometimes makes me go to the clouds. The biggest barrier I've found in my life is that I have seen a drug addict and told me hooked but unlike a patient who uses drugs I take a super strict schedule because if I do I die. During my time in psychiatry I have seen people so consumed by the disease do not even washed. I always carry a notebook as a tool to put feet on the ground because unlike a normal person abstraction is my world and encounter difficulties in establishing normal things like a conversation. However alone I can write a thousand words the problem is that they think you're some kind of idiot because they have no iota of idea about what is happening but stability can work even more than normal and more capable person the problem is that you know not relate and others take advantage of your weak point to attack.
You have to give people protest be useful because it works but I protest not keep busy the hours I'm awake because if I tend to avoid me with less distracted mind I evado. The problem is that you walk into a work companies one hundred percent but then the disease will gambles have a relapse and the employer no longer trusts you and you go with the tails between their legs never thinking I can fulfill myself as a person, I after I have had many failures and I do not take me so bad but I've seen comrades fall into such depression that even kill themselves because above that you live with a stigma you are not helpful in any way and others will despise. My fight is not with anyone if not myself, getting enough sleep, take my notebook and take medication strictly try to perform tasks for me not attack the invisible friend even see people who appreciate us as followers who are listening to us gives me encouragement .
The only intention we have with this is to connect with others while they understand us because there is no greater gift that you can do us that you accept us even though we are different I for one feel when the voices attacking me I'm a disgusting person and the last thing I need is above me do not understand me because that creates more depression, called the queen of the disease in a second can laze a balcony if you have no track. I call it the circle of the head is like you're locked into it like a prison all I hope is that some scientist us a solution to bring more normalized life possible but it is the most essential part of a person's welcome. Improved even if I try I fall my task is to bring more normalized life in what happens to me and I hope not to die in this way because I feel that if I do disappoint whole team of people and colleagues who urge us to move forward and learn to live with our limitations. Thank you all for your curiosity and your interest, so that in some sense you may know that we also feel like you.


Wednesday, 4 May 2016


Who has not wanted to immortalize a special moment of your life through a photo? Simply open the album memory to retrieve the preferred images that were shaped forever on the shiny piece of paper.
There is a gallery of photographs, starting with births, the inevitable birthdays, weddings sporadic and sometimes the disease. But usually spontaneous shots, any day when nothing special is celebrated, the most "decidoras" because we are not posing for the occasion: like cooking, cleaning the garden, answer the phone, hang clothes, rest in the favorite sofa, stroking a pet and so much more.
Despite today's technology remains the magic of old photos in black-era grandparents and white and "Casablanca", seem to have more charm over the years, because they reflect a fashion and lifestyle that we did not know.
Color photography will not have the nostalgic tint of the above, but has its own charm, you know how to capture the colors that our eyes give us. Who does not delight with blue sky dotted with white clouds over the snow ?, Who did not take to the trees in autumn when its leaves are stained from yellow-candy to a deep reddish-brown? , What would the kaleidoscope of fashion (style Agata Ruiz de la Prada) if only reflejáramos shades of gray?
As the black-white contrast gives dramatize the images (portraits, landscapes desolate, disease, etc.), the color dyed vivacity photos, because that is life: colorful, sometimes clear and other dark.
Family photos and friends often dispute the place of honor among our preferences. Who does not keep a picture of her First Communion with a long white dress, like a bride ?, Who does not treasure the fond memories of a friend making mockery of the camera or enjoying a well deserved holiday in our company? , What about pets, it is a white cat arrebujadita in a corner of the couch or jet black dog running after a ball broken both nibbling ?, What about the funny family that threatens to spoil the roll film with its many bells and whistles ?.
Just as television did not end with the radio, or Internet with newspapers, new technologies do not end with photography, which is an art in itself, is in the hands of professional-like graphics- reporters, or amateurs as we are all of us.


Tuesday, 3 May 2016


Suicide is a sensitive issue. Each has its own conception of suicide and is difficult to agree on it. I try this difficult topic because I recently saw a movie where a definition of the many that can be done about suicide is: "A permanent solution to a temporary problem." Also I treat it as a tribute to the death of Robin Williams, who committed suicide this summer in a tremendous way: hung from the ceiling with a belt and wrists of both hands opened. He was only 63 years and has left many films, including many that we use to laugh and have a good time. Pure irony.
Suicide is not always a definitive solution to a temporary problem. There may be a terminal disease and believe that someone wants to end his life because he left a short time. In fact a few days ago I saw on television a girl with an advanced and inoperable brain cancer that had foreseen his death for a given day, but that day they had taken it in good spirits and eager to smile. That day had love for life and did not want to commit suicide. Well that is all about: taking time and patience to overcome suicide because when you least expect may arise the desire to continue living. If you kill you, it is already impossible.
Years ago, when I was a regular lecturer, used to give lectures, including one titled Why writers commit suicide? It can be extrapolated to other topics suicide than writers perfectly. For example: Ernest Hemingway, Nobel Prize for Literature, killed himself because he was diagnosed with cancer and thought he could no longer lead the life with the same vitality with which he had led until then. It was a permanent adventurer. He participated in the Spanish Civil War as a war reporter and out came his novel For Whom the Bell Tolls ?, of which became a movie with Gary Cooper. Ernest ran in the San Fermin festival, ie risked his life when he was healthy, but knowing of his illness was not able to have the courage to face it and shot himself in the mouth with a shotgun. The lack of vitality led him to death.
Another writer Cesare Pavese is, which led to the suicide loneliness. He went to the Hotel Roma in Turin and there only wrote one more line: "I won't write any more", ie, "Do not write more". His loneliness had become untenable and even only left the hostel and there took his own life, I can not remember now how that has been many years since I gave the conference on suicide writers and their reasons. There are many people who can not stand the loneliness and take their own lives rather than discover the pleasures of solitude, which are many because I relish, although there are times I also feel alone certainly think like everyone else.
Then there is the Kawabata Japanese who committed suicide by excess people, the opposite of Pavese. He was very quiet writing, but when he was given the Nobel her house was filled with people. They kept coming journalists to interview him. Continually they took photographs. He had lost the main thing for him quiet to write. That he could not bear and took his own life, I do not remember if the traditional Japanese method.
We in the example of Spain Mariano José de Larra, who committed suicide basically for two reasons: because in Spain they could not implement liberal ideas and a love failure. He could have lived in another country with liberal ideas and could have overcome the failure of love as did Antonio Machado with the death of his young wife. He lacked love for life, finding positive outlets suicide.
We also have in Spain Angel Ganivet, least known of the Generation of 98, suffering from anxiety disorder member. That is, it was mentally ill, but at the time this was not so recognized. He threw himself from a ship at sea and rescued him. But he had a second chance and got drowned. It was a recidivist suicide, which proves what I always say that he wants to commit suicide succeeds. I do not believe in suicide constantly frustrated.
There are many cases of suicide writers. With what I have written is enough. They lacked love for life and left thereof afraid to live in a way they did not want. The mentally ill often they think about suicide. In fact, as I said a psychiatrist, it is normal that mental patients think about suicide. A friend of mine bothered him that the psychiatrist told that that phrase, but it's a reality. mental disorders and suicide are linked. But you have to get all the will in the world and all the love for life to go on because sooner or later overcome the bad times.
Juan Ramon Jimenez and said life is what gives meaning to death and not death that gives meaning to life. We must be grateful to life for having the chance to enjoy it, although it is not always as we want and although sometimes live a true calamity. Juan Ramon had more than enough reasons to kill himself, but always had the help of his wife Zenobia, which survived two years. But also he puts much on your part when not yet had and when was lucky to share.
I think everyone some time we have thought about suicide for very different reasons: a breakup, a depressive crisis, etc ... The reasons for suicide are many and no one can discuss them because each one is. For many people it is a cause of suicide job insecurity and indeed it causes more deaths because people feel useless and reach a high level of despair.
In the great economic cataclysms, like the Crash of 29 in New York, also abound suicides. People do not feel supported by events and take their own lives, as if that would provide them greater happiness. That is all I can leave life and not face problems when all are fixable sooner or later.
The hard part is staying afloat, fighting to live. As Tim Robbins said in the excellent film Shawshank Redemption "all depends endeavor to engage in live or die." He insisted on the film live and for decades planned and prepared the escape from prison and the consequent happiness. We must be patient with the problems and know how to face them to move forward. Must be given an opportunity to life for evil we are. And I tell you that I have lived terrible moments with depression and anxiety, I lost my parents, I have experienced a divorce with a small child and so on.
Is suicide an act of cowardice? I do not know. Each case is unique and each can feel different in the critical situation of suicide. The truth is that suicide is the end. We do not give more opportunities to try to fight. We close all doors. And the sad thing is that the number of suicides is growing every year, more so in the more developed countries, this may involve a contradiction.
God can be an enormous force for real and solid believers, but also serves on many occasions. Suicide is theoretically a sin, as is a crime to aid a suicide. Faith is always a delicate and ambiguous issue that must be addressed individually to know if God is real and strong presence in us.
We must love life above all things. She puts us problems ahead, but also solutions but not always at the exact time when we need them. We must take patience, it achieves everything.
I have met many frustrated suicide and all regret having tried, which is symptomatic. They have discovered thanks to the suicide attempt the true love of life. It is already known that there is an ill wind that blows no good.
If someone reads my article and I ask is desperate patience and faith, a new opportunity to continue to live, to discover the little desire to live and continue pulling forward. It's possible. And death will come alone. Do not be hurry to die because it is a safety. Health and luck.

Jose Cuadrado Morales