Wednesday, 29 June 2016


Rare is the media (be it magazine, newspapers, teletext of different television channels, etc ...) that does not have a section of contacts or relationships between people. You know: men seeking women, women seeking men, men seeking men, women seeking women, friendship, other relationships, etc ... Many of you have ever resorted to this section to widen the circle of friends. I have done answering ads or putting my own.
I remember in 1990 I put an ad in the ABC de Sevilla Journal and the company that managed the ads published in many other ways, including one of Granada, which allowed me to meet Leocadio, who after years became my best friend. And still is. He just turned 49, specifically on 4 February. Every year we welcome birthday. I him on 4 February and he to me on August 26. Certainly the next August will fulfill 56 years, so I'm almost four years older than my friend Leocadio.
Tune from the first moment thanks among other things to the affinity we had with mental illness. Those who often read me know my sufferings, among whom I stress disorder, generalized anxiety disorder and obsessive compulsive disorder. Leocadio suffers from paranoid schizophrenia. I do not know which is worse. I know he really tried to commit suicide, not mock, and I do not. And he must submit from time to time and I have only entered once I coinciding with the death of my mother and the breakup of a relationship with a woman. My friend has a hard time with income, but it will check to perform all therapies that apply.
He lives in Lugros, a small town in the mountains of Granada, occasionally going to Granada to see the psychiatrist and psychologist, allowing you to interact with others, but that relationship is ephemeral and lasts a few hours. We hit it off from the beginning great. We wrote long letters with all the sincerity in the world where we told all things. And always we were sending one christmas Christmas to congratulate the holidays. Over time we have left to write and use over the phone.
He was married to a woman who knew her illness when they went to bed. But he soon left with a small daughter, Mari Carmen. Leocadio saw his daughter half of the holidays and every fortnight on weekends. He wanted and loves her daughter, who is now a woman. What hurts is the attitude that now has his daughter with him, absolute coldness because he will never see his father living in such a small town and never calls and when seen every fortnight for tapas and chat never asks how it is, that is the question most expected him to see how his daughter is interested in him and gives him a little affection. But his daughter follows the guidelines of his mother, who does not want to be spreading the disease from her ex-husband, like a contagious disease. It is again the stigma of mental illness, which spans many branches of human relationships.
Nor he receives the affection that he wanted his mother, a village woman, closed, brutota, 83, who gives loving mother, but no understanding for the disease because it does not understand and overcome. Often discussed and he calls me to tell me. I listen with all the love in the world because we are really friends and I love him very much. I want to highlight in this article the importance of friendship for the mentally ill so they do not feel alone and stuck only his ailing world.
Also he has problems with his two brothers. With the largest I had a shock when her mother was admitted in the hospital in Granada and his older brother as he charged meals if your home was entitled to a pension food. Leocadio has a small non-contributory pension.
He calls daily to his brothers, but neither ever ask him how he is. They have frankly marginalized and feels very alone and no longer knows how to make his brothers throw accounts.
My friend is a little sybaritic of snuff. Every day after lunch going to a cafe for coffee and then a cigar smoking a certain brand, not another. I send every year a cigar box that mark for his birthday. This year I've done it again. I also shipping as a second birthday on April or May I usually book published annually. This year will be Rosa of life, a poem lake river divided into 90 parts which deal with four themes: life, love, death and obsession, all under the influence of Schopenhauer. He is an avid reader because their vision problems can not watch TV, but you can read. And devours everything he can. Theirs is the writing that painting, but also writes occasionally. He learned to paint in the Ura Guadix. Since that time it does not stop. But not sell his paintings. I always tell her that you will follow the path of Vincent Van Gogh, who sold one painting in his lifetime and after his heirs have had enough of making money. I do not want that to happen to him the same. I think that's self-esteem must sell their pictures and get money to live better.
Regarding the attitude of his daughter to him sometimes too desperate and sometimes tells me he regrets being father. I say that teenagers are well and I know well what I say because I have a son who is already a man and treats me coldly. But he despairs soon.
In the village you point out, as they did with Juan Ramón Jiménez in Moguer, when he was riding his Platero and pointed with calling him crazy finger when he was was depressed by the untimely death of his father, which cost entry into a sanatorium. But Lugros is a very small town and everyone knows their constant internments and problems of paranoid schizophrenia.
I understand the need for affection Leocadio. His immense solitude. We will never see us because he can not travel for their illness and I am afraid to go to new places. I wish him the best Leocadio. And I wish the best to all readers who put ads in daily or teletext. They find true friends and happier and mitigate their loneliness in the best way possible. Health and luck.

Jose Cuadrado  Morales.

Friday, 24 June 2016


Ideals experiments help us to reason and draw conclusions about a subject. In the experiment known as "The Cat Schorödinguer" the following problem: in a closed room there is a cat and a bowl of poison that can be opened or remain closed; to see if the cat at a given moment is alive or dead have to open the door to the room and check. By observing we determine whether the cat is alive or dead. The reality seems to exist while observing, but what happens while we are not watching ?. In those moments, the cat is alive or dead ?. Physics tells us that in these circumstances the cat is alive or dead, but in an intermediate state, a mixture of the two.
In this intermediate state we seem to be sick when loneliness comes not desired. That solitude in which we do not seem to be alive or be dead, but in an indeterminate latency. I have suffered for years, living alone with my parents and out into the street alone to work. During that time largely we lose parts of the emotions that must be present in the lives of everyone, such as fraternity and friendship.
Solitude imposed from outside is not good.
That said this is not true: sometimes we are not guilty of this solitude and others if, although it is good to think that we ourselves intervene where this is on and we should not excuse in circumstances or others, although some of this also has . That's why centers like the Unit of Mental Health Rehabilitation Hospital Virgen Macarena help us both to move forward and find spaces for meeting with other people who become very especially needed to carry the disease on, specialists and friends. And it is that being alone in a crowd can end up in an outbreak. (It is also true that after one of them, they seem asleep these emotions, we recovering gradually as we rehabilitated). So all these relationships we heal us in this regard.
To be happy is not necessary to do everything well, but with love.
I do not need everyone treats me well all the time
The world has never worked perfectly, but despite that people have gotten to enjoy life and we can do it.


Wednesday, 22 June 2016


There is a place lost
where the darkness.
There is a place awake
where you are if more.
But you always want your place
among different sites.
You say you have a name
Who's that shadow that never
you leave?



Wednesday, 15 June 2016

AFFECTION ... Vitamin for the soul

Some more, some less, we all need to feel affection samples appreciated: a kiss on the cheek, a sense I love you, a wink of an eye, a compliment, a phone call, a pat on the shoulder. Any words or kind gesture by others to us is a real gift for self-esteem.
The sincere affection involves a heavy dose of empathy that is know to take the place of the other. It is good to receive a caress but so is giving it to those around us.
Often difficult to admit that we feel alone and we would ask dear, if only a little Sometimes we pour part of that existential angst in a hobby or stroking our pets. But it is clear that prior to this exchange of feelings must look good to the recipient for the connection is successful.
Nothing would a false friend, ironically a compliment or a mechanical gesture of affection. Look people in the eye is a good start, and listen to the other is also showing interest. It is easy to say but much of the misunderstandings lie in not listening to our fellowmen or not properly express our emotional needs.
Time will do its part, as it will allow us to get to know the other person, to know what interests you, what points we have in common, what show of affection would be appropriate. Affection is a fundamental ingredient of living as it helps build friendships or simply makes the routine more bearable when we stumbled upon a smile or a pat on the shoulder. Do not be ashamed of being demonstrative with whom we appreciate, do not you think?


Monday, 13 June 2016


 There was no word in heaven or on earth, the sea or the sky. There was only silence. Then came the voices in my mind, which I had to fight with pharmacological and psychotherapeutic treatment. Patiently, without despair because he knew what was at stake my own life and could hurt my family with something crazy, like I already happened in the past with some intakes of pills or reduce medication prescribed by psychiatrists on my own . Now I realize that mistakes make you mature and do not take lightly think it is convenient when you are with various mental disorders, including depression. It is better to go step by step and feel that there is hope in our deepest solitude. Life takes many turns and sometimes dreams come true, making our lives have any meaning, because you are sometimes truncated by factors that have befallen us and make us remember painful moments and suffer.
Now after the new adjustment of treatment I feel better and is not being quiet day after day thinking there was no solution. Thank God today have many advances in medicine.
On the other hand I have been good sport, I've been doing regularly a little every day. The times I also read though sometimes distracted and not concentrating me, took my imagination to think about the characters and the relationships established between them also. Sometimes if I liked the story I spent several hours reading. Moreover, watch movies occasional afternoon or movies at home and then discuss them with my father or remember some things have made me enjoy this free leisure time. Well I think there are many opportunities to perform in company or alone. Only sometimes we do not want to change because of fears that costs us to see other perspectives, leading us not get things we want and frustrated.

Jesus R.

Friday, 10 June 2016


Happiness is one of the most variable and relative human things. Would you ask who you ask each answer something different. Some people are happy with the smallest and most insignificant. However others will be happy only with the greatest, with the greatest treasures and possessions. There is no fixed rule about happiness. Everyone can talk about himself what he wants. So now I will talk about me.
I am very happy with a simple package of almonds blue sitting in my easy chair watching a good football match, a good movie, a good cultural program or a good documentary on TV. That is to seek happiness. Happiness can come alone, but usually have to trabajársela. And I'm happy with these small, seemingly banal things but leave me satisfied. For example these days I've been waiting for televise the first game of the season Sevilla FC. It was with Slovan Liberec of the Czech Republic for the third round of the UEFA Europa League. It was a draw, but Sevilla still first in his group. With that I felt happy with it several days and prove that great things are not required to be and feel happy.
I am also happy to be with my son because he know I've done well despite being a divorced father. The mother has also done its job well. My son is going for 24 years and is a physical and mentally balanced guy who is doing the sixth year of his two races, Administration and Management and Law. He has a girlfriend and things very clear. And it's a happy kid and I'm glad everything contributed to their happiness.
I am happy in the morning when I wake up and I feel great anxiety and depressed, and then I ask God to give me strength and help me to move forward. And I notice that force that is internalized and gives me energy to pull forward all day. I find it hard work for my disease. Obsessive compulsive disorder does not leave me alone and I'm always fighting with him, though occasionally achieving a balance and I feel happy. That happiness is at times. It is said that only madmen and fools are happy all the time. I do not know. I just know I'm happy at times.
And I feel happy when I'm traveling, such as Madrid. I went this past summer but I got sick with a virus and had to return to the fourth day. Next year will complete the journey. For Christmas my social worker advised me to travel out that for next summer's still a long. I'll Arcos de la Frontera, people that I love where I find peace and feel happy. And it is very close to Sevilla so I feel better.
Wednesday I'm happy when I go to the cinema to watch a movie then criticize for blog Ura Macarena. I'm all week preparing the film I'll see to get as much information as possible, I will do all my review.
The popular song says that there are three things in life: health, money and love, and you have these three things to give thanks to God. A God will give thanks whoever believes in him as in my case. I pray and give me strength to go on all day. Health is fundamental, is the basis of everything. Without health everything else it does not matter. We must learn to be patient and to overcome the disease. And we must always think there are worse things. For example, several years ago I had an operation on a stone in the right ureter. My mother accompanied me one day and said urologist bad luck he had had his son,. The doctor said that bad luck is having a heart attack or cancer. You always have to think of those who are worse than you. Maybe it's that bad for many consolation of fools, but it's true. It also serves here that of which the glass half full or half empty. I always try to see it half full to feel at least a little happiness even in the most difficult circumstances.
Money is very important also to feel happy. We are in times of crisis. There are eight million poor people in Spain who eat even directly from dumpsters that are thrown to them about eight tons of food a year. As contradiction CaixaBank has grown 164%. There are over six million unemployed and about 100,000 families have all their members unemployed and the unemployment benefit exhausted. They live on charity. Andalusia is still not out of recession although its economy has improved somewhat. And Spain pulls forward in fits and starts. It's very hard being without money even for basics like eating.
And love. Not only love partner, but all the love we receive and give. I receive much love from my fellow Ura Macarena and professionals working in it. They are more than just professional. And as for the love pair right now I'm burnt. I've had three great loves in my life and many crushes and casual encounters. But the last relationship left me burned and now prefer to be alone, but do not rule out anything in the future. In fact, in my book I talk a lot of love. In my next book, Rosa life, I make a hymn to love and to life with all my strength. Because I still believe in love.
In an announcement the other day I heard this phrase about: If you do not know what you do in the next life, take this. That will greatly happiness to enjoy life as much as possible, take the time with all its relativity to enjoy and feel good about yourself. To me the disease causes me a lot of suffering, but does not prevent me from enjoying my moments of happiness. I try to enjoy life as much as possible for God to feel satisfied me and I too am at peace with myself.
In another announcement I heard that life is for living. It's the same or like singing a song for years that it became fashionable: Life is for living. That is also about happiness: to live life with all our strength and good and bad moments as they arise because there is time for everything.
I remember now the song of Amaral: I want to live, I want to feel the universe about me. I also want to live, I want to feel that universe within my soul and feel my friend and my reason for being. The universe is nothing compared to the value of a single human life. We have to have a balance with all elements of nature. We are part of it and drives a main matrix that is happiness. This is to be found, it must be trabajársela a lot because not all happiness comes alone to give us personal satisfaction. To win the lottery you have to buy a tenth. Same thing for you to win the lottery of happiness: invest time, forces, energies that happiness is within us as long as possible.
I seek happiness daily. It's what Bertrand Russell said in his book The Conquest of Happiness. You have to fight hard to get but you can get full. What happens is that you have to work hard for that happiness is within us and conquer everyday life and achieve the right to live. The conquest of happiness is a daily and constant work that allows us to make sense of our existence and everything we are as human beings.
I invite to you to fight for happiness, even in very small doses. But those small doses together form a large piece of happiness. Do not lose patience and see you all have reasons for that, to a greater or lesser extent. As the United States Constitution says the man has the right to pursuit of happiness. It's almost poetry in the American Constitution. For this right we can not take anything or anyone. We must seek happiness as with all our strength.
Go in search of happiness and she will be safe in our way. Those who believe in God go ahead. And those who disbelieve go ahead too. I do believe and God is my main source of energy. He gives meaning to my life and helps me greatly to search the Nobel Prize saying that I mentioned earlier. It's just a matter of patience and feel grateful for all the things that gives us life to take it. Look at it carefully and see how many things you save for us. Enjoy life. Health and luck.

Jose Cuadrado Morales

Wednesday, 8 June 2016


Why do I exist?
What is my mission in this world?
What is my role?
What I paint in this world?
-Who loves me?
'Who care?
-You want to do? Be happy.
No me know my task restless.
-What would you like to do? Enjoy.
-Would You like to die? do not! But I get bored in this world.
God want me to release you from this burden? No! God expects me to live fully without unnecessary harm to others, because life is a gift from God that can not be rejected.
-For When you know what my mission. And I will be too old and I have to leave bound by age.
What do you expect from this life?
-What would you like to do?
-Who I am?
-What would you like? I wish we were brothers, and that there were so cruelly focused on living things: people, animals and plants ...
When I get up after sleeping much I am "amamonado".
-You are happy? I get bored, I want to have fun without doing harm.
Why as much, perhaps I need?
'What can I do to do my best to improve my life?
-What would you like to do? respect!
- Everything has to be in the Lord's vineyard.
- It's the game of life. How far are you willing to walk it with quality of life? That is in your life!
As you think and what you think is important, and affects their quality of life.
I feel fine, I'm a champion and I will live life.
Why me punishment, perhaps I have no right to live with dignity?
-Start By yourself approve you.
Every action has consequences, action-reaction.
Every person has to play his cards, and if you have a bad hand, move, fight.
There must accept life as it comes.
'I approve because one is worth it.
I am a humane and tolerant person.
God gives you as think, if you think negative you God provides negative and positive if God equips you think positive.
-You want to do? respect! Why? Because my head and I think of all my negative thoughts discard.
Come in time and I do nothing.
What are you willing to do in this life? ... Hey, it's you!

No one cares and obsesses me a lot also have quality of life and make my mark in history, genetic and artistic.
What worries you, because you can not sleep? I worry about my future.
When sleep is I get bored.
Do not talk to me or treat me wrong, I'm sensitive and I get depressed.
What am I doing here in this world, perhaps I punished ?; No. Then you live!
When you play bad cards you have to keep playing and have resigned and then have to live in the present, not the past or the future, or what is the same, play the next hand And listen!
I want to be awake because I want to live in the moment.
-I want to improve.
He wants his neighbor because he loves you, and what happens is that he does not know.
You know dance, you have good poses? Your body language says a lot about you. Hunchback or right when you walk, when you brush your teeth, when the plates rub. Dancing legs and feet, dancing the balance of the spine ...

Antonio Tequila.

Tuesday, 7 June 2016


On every occasion that I intend to write, fear appears: not find the right words, it is unclear message to the reason of the size chosen not to scrawl even one page. Fear of paper, as if the mind is involved.
I started writing almost out of obligation. Small charge me answer my mother's letters uncles and cousins ​​with the excuse "I have no time" or a plea: "Rosita not know what to put them, you write better." Thus, as in a game, I was fond to paper and pencil. I also started reading romance novels of Corin Tellado, comics, thrillers, magazines, etc. These readings that certainly helped my love of writing.
There is always something worthy of capturing on the computer: a review of a movie or "station" that struck us, the exit with friends for coffee, the passing tantrums with our brothers, the job search is uphill in times of crisis, the re-reading of our favorite book, etc. The daily experiences are also a source of inspiration as it happens to me with memories, pets or live in the countryside. Nothing better than some knowledge of the subject matter, whether sad or happy, for thoughts to surface spontaneously. Who does not remember the rhymes of Becquer "dark swallows will return" ... or letters of Serrat as "do not do anything but think of you"? . What seems easier it can become true poetry if we let our imagination play freely.
It's amazing how much the writing process is enjoyed. Personally, I find it easier to verbally express written perhaps as a matter of shyness, introverted character. The case against the paper is that a swirl of ideas occurs like you want to reflect all your experiences in a row. Then they go mentally selecting the words that go best with our mood and slowly, the spaces are filled with the letters of the alphabet. Even if we never be satisfied with what is written entirely removes us who danced?!.
Writing is a hobby but also a necessity. It's a hobby that moves us to fill the downtime, while the need to get in touch with other people. Once a written idea leaves belong to us because we share it with casual readers and is very pleasant to hear the comments of those friends, though not match 100% with us.


Wednesday, 1 June 2016


"That all life is a dream and dreams are dreams". So said Calderon de la Barca in the monologue Sigismund of life is a dream, we might consider a history of psychoanalysis of Sigmund Freud.

 In the monologue obrase clearly speaks of conscious and unconscious dreams dreams. The former have when we are awake. The others do not control and pass the time asleep during sleep. When we are awake we can dream what we want or we can according to our intellectual abilities and our personal ambition. We could put the example of television programs where each contestant is asked what he would do with the prize of the contest. all sorts of things are heard: travel, pay off the house, help the people closest, etc ...

In the dream consciously we aspire to everything, but the reality is responsible for turning our dreams into something tangible. Much depends on the personal will of each, the effort that is put in the effort. I, for example, had dreams of being a writer. I had to lose many things, give up as many to be, today and took eleven books published.
 I had to implement numerous ideas to be conscious writer, put as much effort in my dreams appeared unconscious images of my capacity as a writer of much desire he had to be.
Unconscious dreams are not governed by our will, but can clearly influence what we are thinking just before sleep or obsessions we have throughout the day or the events live during it.
The subconscious is a storehouse of reasons to dream. We can dream we are flying and that reflect our fear of flying, our panic to fly and see that we can. The subconscious to the conscious helps to live, to overcome old problems. We are birds that move elegantly through the air without any fear of falling.

The subconscious is always about a volcano eruption. We dream that we are in a cemetery looking at the grave of our parents and we feel guilty because life did not give them the love we should give them. The subconscious takes us to the cemetery, to the fictional death in the dream world to repent of the bad things we've done in life. And although we have feelings of guilt finally we feel relief because we can rectify belatedly personal conflicts we had with our parents. The subconscious helps us. It's above us because it is out of our control, but the benefits are very clear.

Sigmund Freud helped his patients through the interpretation of the dream world. They came to your inquiry full of pain and out relieved that someone had given her interpretation to your dreams. These often beyond our understanding and we feel desolate, abandoned by fate itself, left hand of God. This one is often uses as pseudointérprete of dreams through the path of faith or simply through the path of impotence. God can not interpret our dreams. We can believe, dream of God, think and to feel that God relieves us, but he can not interpret our dreams.
The subconscious can be dissected by a good psychologist, either with direct treatment with patients or through writing books that talk about the subject of dreams. There is much written about dreams and their interpretation literature. And with practice we can become the best interpreters of our own dreams. To do this we have to know well our conscious and have a great emotional balance not to get carried away by the dream world and all the weight that occupies in our lives.
As an example of conscious dream we can put the famous phrase that begins the no less famous speech of Martin Luther King: "I have a dream". I have a dream, the dream of seamless integration between blacks and whites. He had no unconscious dream about it. He felt the need for such integration and for that invented what unconscious dream to make clearer picture of their purposes. Unfortunately he was killed and his dream vanished. Not dependent on his will, but he fought with all his strength to give my life for that dream.
Freud talked about the differences and similarities between the subconscious, the unconscious and the conscious. The subconscious is the part where dreams more clearly hidden. The unconscious lulls dreams, as if they were traumatized. It is the most painful part of dreams, where outcropping the toughest dreams like a bridge between reality and subconsciousness. And the conscious, which is the waking state, we live in a way that affects the unconscious and the subconscious. But this reality is not one-way, but two, as all true communication.
Living is hard, dreams can help us live or feel more miserable. Daydreaming is one of the most used expressions in real life. We all do. We all aspire to something we do not have. Often unconscious dreams make us a lot of damage and we woke up suffocated, afflicted with anxiety and distress. They are beyond our control. But paradoxically also conscious dreams are out of reach of our will because the eternal conflict between reality and desire, between reality and dream arises. Dreaming is easy. Living the dream come true is much more difficult. But we all have the right to dream. Sleep is free. And the unreal dreams are free in themselves. They live for them although we give many hints of attention and we indicate alarms about our real life.

Perhaps all life is a dream, but it sure as dreams are dreams Calderon said. But I do not agree that everything is dream. I think that free will greatly influences our lives. Live and dream, that could be our motto, but here fit all possible interpretations and conclusions, if we consider that each person is a dream in itself.

I have not written this article. I have dreamed of and has only gone to paper or computer. It has been a dream come true that has passed through my hands up white sheets. My whole life is a dream, but I woke up to read it. And I like. I hope you do too.

Jose Cuadrado Morales