WHEN PARENTS GROW OLD

The days are approaching and parents get older, it changes everything, is said to enter the age of ay, that is, something that always hurts. pain appears in the most unexpected moment, you have to constantly remind them all and be talking without disturbing because they get angry easily, must be encouraged very difficult thing.

Some of the things that they have to do is clip their toenails with great care not to cut off the skin, it is a very sensitive part also remind you that medication is taken, help to dress, make chores like cleaning the house, washing and hanging clothes, pick up the laundry when dry, fold participate in making food, taking them to the doctor and be aware that the appointment does not pass, encouraging them to go walk and above all listen.

The time I spend with my older are most rewarding part especially with my mother for me is always admonishing and counting very entertaining things and anger when I say something that does not like or does not sit well I love it seems a little girl to which detracts a sweet, but when I realized that it hurts something that is insufferable. My father is very different as always, no matter how hard me, everything I do wrong what makes this less time with. With I have to spend less time remembering things as he remembers is much more independent and as a result have more time.

José

LIVING WITH AN ILL PERSON

 If the art of living together is difficult for a healthy person, when there is a sickness in the family that is uphill. Misunderstandings can arise at any time, perhaps because they expect us to act with the same pace as them or we dialogue on topics that interest them. The truth is that our brains work differently and our thoughts tend to be kilometers of our environment.

Personally I am speaking little or if you want introverted, the fact is that usually change fast issue and talks about everyday problems I find difficult to cope with, because they add stress to my anxiety. Paying attention for some time is difficult, the mind seems to wander without asking permission and only compass that there is to correct this seems to be a repetition of slogans and patience to try to sustain the interest. When visitors come I salute and participated in the talks for a short time but invariably after seeking solitude and I feel with my thoughts in a place nearby, as taking energy to re-join the group. This attitude is not impolite but a simple mental respite, fortunately understand because they know of my illness. Maybe sometimes I saturating conversations because I feel I have nothing to contribute and hence the silences or parsimony of words. The simple act of paying attention for some time is difficult, it is to do a task or follow instructions.

As for the routine treatment house help as I can but at a slower pace, unless you have an attack of hyperactivity motivated by an unexpected joy that is a matter of necessity. Sometimes I feel that others walk super fast and I react in slow motion, but do, I do everything that is within my reach.

It becomes problematic live with us also by frequent changes of mind that we suffer. We went from sadness to joy almost a snap or what is the same, because we receive a word of encouragement or reproach.

Also plays against the fear of being alone, those around us do not understand us or get tired of having a schizophrenic charge: we are like big kids who can not defend themselves on their own in many areas. This emotional dependence as economic puts us at a distinct disadvantage against our fellow man.

 Anyway the sense of worthlessness sharpens unable to contribute financially to the costs and it becomes difficult to feel good in these circumstances. The truth is that no one chooses ill and we and our family have to know the symptoms to cope in the best way possible coexistence.

Rosa.

HATRED

One of the questions that have become philosophers and ordinary people throughout history is: What are the motors that move the world? I have concluded after much thought and read and view data over time that fundamental engines are love and money.

Love is manifested in many ways. It is a couple that love is one of the most beautiful. One can get to give your life for your partner. And ultimately both members of the couple can give their lives in defense of love, like Romeo and Juliet. There is also the parent-child love, the love of a father to his son and I get as an example. I would be able to give my life for my son. If you need my heart or liver or other vital organ I would donate with ease. I love him and is an intense love that is very difficult to explain.

It is also love pets. Some treat them as if they were people, put them in winter coats, brush their teeth, take care of them in every way even taking them to the vet. It is a detached and very beautiful love. It is also a vocation to love, as I do with literature. I write since I was seven years. And I've written endlessly to 52 I have, always combining it with other things he was doing as study, work, etc ... I've given up a lot for literature and I am proud of the work done.

There are more great loves that affect many people as is the case of Martin Luther King and his love for equality between blacks and whites. in the United States. It took to give his life for that love. And there is the Mahatma Gandhi and his love for India and its policy of non-violence with which gained independence from the British after a long fight. But I also had to give their lives for this effort. And there is the example of Mother Teresa of Calcutta and the immense love he felt for others, especially the poor. Slowly gave his life for them and renounced all worldly pleasures.

And there is the issue of money, which are always in conflict Macroeconomics and Microeconomics.

The first attempts to explain how it is that in times of crisis like we live CaixaBank the last year has grown 164%. And it must also explain how you may have more than 100,000 families with all members unemployed only in Andalusia without law and social benefit to some. And Microeconomics should explain how it may have 8 million poor and 8 million tons of food is thrown away and people eat directly from the container. Microeconomics should explain the use of the euro by normal people, they charge a non-contributory pension or who no joke come to collect 1,000 euros per month. They are not mileuristas. Is the new social class that is emerging, the precarious: people who have enough to live and can not afford any luxury, even the small luxury of going to the cinema to watch a movie. Misery is taking over society and grows brutal toward politicians and bankers who are the ones who caused this situation hate.

I have spoken for the first time of hatred. There is a special grudge against politicians and bankers. But hatred is a small scale in the world of the couple. It has always been said that love to hate is one step. I felt that hatred when my ex-wife left me being me at the worst time of my illness and my father just died. But I wanted to take the positive consequences of hatred and what I did was reverse the energy of hate in love energy thinking about my two year old son. He did not want the divorce will affect you physically and mentally and I gave myself to him completely, partially Literature away. But I also invested part of the energy of hatred in literary creation. I wrote a book called marrows odiantes, provisionally moment. When I write a book I always put first the title and I build the book around that title. Then when I finish writing the book I see if the title serves or change. This title I have to change because not convince me at all. The book begins: I hate is the word I most explodes in my gut wounds. Brutal desire to overthrow, destroy, kill. Judgment against the world that oppresses me against the wall imprisoning my mood purulent papules. It is very strong and reflects very clearly the pain he had caused me neglect.

The book is very extensive: over 5000 verses. I will surely publish it in two parts. I normally write books love me noticed strange writing a book about hate, but what I felt and a writer has to be true to your emotions and feelings.

 It has happened with other women I ever really loved. I guess otherwise think of that when I have been the one who has abandoned a woman, but I've never been hated by anyone. What you need to do is have a very large self-hatred that leads not only to self-esteem. Turn hate into love yourself and love for the person himself to whom we hate. For example I congratulated on his 66th birthday to my ex-wife. I do not feel love, but not hatred. I feel a strange sense of affection for the mother of my son and for being the person I loved most.

Hatred larger scale is found in the world of religion. Many wars have caused the world for religious reasons or tribal issues. This happened in the 80s and 90s in Rwanda with the tribes of the Hutus and Tutsis. Thousands and thousands of dead was the consequence of this civil war. And there is the dictatorial regime of the Khmer Rouge of Pol Pot in Cambodia, which led to the deaths of millions of people who hated the regime established purely fascist. And yesterday marked the 75th anniversary of the Kristallnacht in Berlin, Germany. It was the morning from 9 to 10 November 1938 when he began the persecution of Jews in Germany. They killed many Jews and deportations began. And the following year, with the invasion of Poland and the creation of the first ghettos in Warsaw when he started the Second World War that lasted six years and which would die in the Holocaust between 5 and 6 million Jews, apart from soldiers who died on the battlefields. An absurd war between Japan, Italy and Germany against the rest of the world, with the neutrality of some countries, including Spain. Something good did the Franco dictatorship: the stay neutral in World War II. It would have been definitive World War II to Spain after being out of the Spanish Civil War, another demonstration of hatred between the two sides, and the National Republican.

Hatred and more hatred in absurd wars that have caused throughout history million deaths endless and are causing them because they never lack a war that mouthing. There are many weapons to sell to the warlords, who are behind and never see and who are the movers and shakers of many conflicts.

Wars and more wars which can only neutrality, peace movements that combat hatred that exists in the civilian world or between countries. We must remember recently the conflicts in Iran, Iraq and Afghanistan. And the phenomenon of Al Qaeda who is full of hatred especially to the United States and Western countries in general, as happened with Spain on 11 March with trains Atocha station. And hatred of terrorists to the Spanish state, now fashionable again for the release from prison of members of ETA Parot doctrine repealed the Strasbourg Court. It has been revived with hatred that terrorists now that normality was returning relatively to the Basque Country after so long that we absence of terrorist attacks parentheses but not abandon the weapons do they have to do.

We must respond to hatred with love. However difficult this may be. It is sometimes a matter of turning the other cheek and when we run out of cheeks to apply the maximum dose of indifference to hatred does not affect us. And you have to do hard and with enthusiasm because the first victim of hate is the one who feels that rancor corrodes the inside and not let him live. I do not want to feel more hatred. It seems absurd. We must fix the daily life, the environment around us and surrounds us and gives us life. This is full of opportunities to overcome hatred because existence gives us every reason to hate. So we must be strong in adversity feeling of hatred and live with enough humility to transform it into love as far as possible.

I know it is a difficult but possible transformation because I've done. That is what I desire in this special article that I devoted to hatred. Let us not be devoured by this terrible feeling that makes us beasts and prevents us from being rational people that we are supposed to. It is my wish for you. Health and luck.

José Cuadrado Morales.

FEAR FEAR

 The first briefing he attended in the circle of the URSM dealt with fear and his two facets. Positive, that starts to danger and makes us react to avoid or confront (eg Fleeing an animal or extinguish a fire principle) and the negative, which implies fear what does not exist. Anxiety is related to the latter.

In general fear of the unknown, the situations which pose new problems, but there are specific fears: heights (vertigo), enclosed spaces (claustrophobia) or open spaces (agoraphobia), to be rejected, flying, to relate (social phobia) etc.

As feel fear is in our DNA is that why we are born crying, as if sensing the dangers of the world to lean out?

The neurotic fear evaluated by others something you have to do and imagine the worst consequences. This irrational fear is present in our disease with more intensity, to the point that sometimes we become zombies, paralyzing us up for the simplest acts as asearnos or go outside. Fear is fear itself. We fear both face a situation which not only avoided but for a few days were petrified, his mind circling the subject as a labyrinth without finding out or imagining the worst scenarios (like taking pills to rest forever).

The panic is reflected on a story by Kafka, The Metamorphosis, where the protagonist gradually is becoming a kind of monster that devours. That's the fear, we wrapped in black wings slowly, until completely take over our hours. It is inevitable, as the laugh or mourn, but we must learn to control this spiral of negative thoughts when we know are irrational. Autoanula we fear, it puts jaws our will and even the simplest desire becomes complex when discern and act.

How do we get out of this alley? The truth is that there is no recipe. Each has its own time and resources. If we are alone it is practically impossible to break the invisible fence of fear. We need the Other to see the light at the end of the tunnel or what is the same thing for a believer: have hope, no matter how small things can change for the better. I say this based on an experience years ago and marked me much deep depression. I left leaning on certain religious beliefs, but it took me months because I was in complete solitude. It is known that medications and professional support of a psychologist or psychiatrist help to overcome it, but nothing is as motivating as the support of the most significant things, whether family or friends, it is with them that we stand up and take the first step . Moving about is what allows enclose them overcome fears or unconscious somewhere at least. We need the other to leave the pit because fear attacks when we have low defenses. Asking for help is perhaps the most appropriate recipe, do not you think?

Rosa. 

ALSO I REMEMBER MY BIRTH.

I have memories from when I was very very small. I have a year and something when my mother put me first in a spittoon to poop. When I got up and saw so well that I actually felt a great satisfaction because it was something he had done it by myself (I think this is the time of anal speaking psychiatrist Sigmund Freud). I ran to my room and returned with my pencil. I started to remove that and at a given when he tried to prove moment, I heard a horrible scream and I remember the face of my mother's horror ... forgive me for this in writing as scatological but that I wanted to tell. I also remember my birth when I was very young I had a recurring nightmare that I repeated hundreds of times during the first years of my life. It felt very oppressed, in a rough, dark place, suddenly saw a bright light and I woke up and began to mourn my mother calling Mom! mom!

And most I had also once a very curious dream, I saw most in a house that was to be where I have lived a lifetime with my parents. They were huge and very dark rooms. Suddenly in one corner I saw a little girl, I went over and I said, hey! What are you doing here alone? And I asked What is your name? And I said Reyes, then I asked how many years old are you? And I said four I picked her up, I hugged her and kissed me I recognized myself in this girl !. Then I went to a big door bright and there I met one of my sisters and showed the finding that he had.

At that time I was reading self-help books that talked about making peace with our inner child. Especially were books and videos about a Louise Hay.

Reyes

ELEPHANT MEMORY

Usually when you want to extend the memory of someone, we use that phrase has a memory like an elephant. That memory would allow among other things, leave the herd and go to a certain place die when their time comes.

But there is another aspect that highlights a story by Jorge Bucay. A boy visiting a circus see a huge elephant chained to a small wooden stake and asks the obvious question: why is chained ?, so that it will not leak tell you, but seeing the size difference between the animal and the stake follows that it would be easy to tear the ground why not ?, because it does respond trained him and the child retorts: and if amaestrado why tie it? Receives few consistent answers, until someone tells him when he was little tied him to the stake and the elephant tried to break free again and again, kicked, pushed, pulled and sweated until he was tired of trying and one day accepted his fate . After growing up he no longer tried again, because in his mind the idea that I could not break free was recorded.

That happens sometimes with people. If we inculcate something small, then it is very difficult to believe otherwise. We are like trained elephant, convinced that we can do nothing to change our future. I guess in many childhood traumas that we carry in the sense of the futility of our actions are based. It is a clear misconception, but both hear "you're a good for nothing" and phrases like that, you end up convinced that they are true and little battle gives life. Hopefully the bad memories do not condition us as much as the elephant and despite the difficulties, try to always be free to decide when.

As a poem by Mario Benedetti says:

Do not give up, there's still time

to reach out and start again,

accept your shadows,

bury your fears,

release the ballast

return flight.

Do not give up that life is that ......

Rosa.

WHAT CAN I BE FATAL STEP HELP?

Hi all I ever write that I went to my illness, not conquer fear achievement that has taken hold of me. Every time I go out on the street I walk into a bar. or anywhere I have fear of everything and everyone. It is indescribable, I was paralyzed, stiff, nervous, I locked the words, in short, very bad. When I walk down the street I think that persecute me, and if I meet someone I think I want to hurt. I can not more, although everything is fruit of my imagination, of the disease. What fatal step, my doctors tell me to learn to live with it, but it is very difficult. I give you an example, yesterday walked down the street and on the street, were two pimps, looked at them, and quickly changed the look, I heard perfectly as insulted me, that I live as real as if they were real, I hear these voices and I keep hearing them. As I have written in other articles, all this happens to me, it is due to cocaine use, although I have three years without taking anything, do not achieve these fears disappear. In a word panic it is what I feel when I have to go outside.

I just want to know if any of you think of something like that, I wonder if there are more people going through the ordeal I'm going through. If so, please answer me. For me, it is very important to listen to other stories, and know what they do to combat them.

Well, I say goodbye, kisses to everyone and a warm greeting.

Pedro Real